The big takeaway this year was: love. Amid lots of awful things happening all around us, I was lucky enough to be reminded of the abundance of love that also surrounds us. I officiated two weddings for couples I adore, and I got to be present when one of my favorite humans on the planet, proposed to another of my favorite humans on the planet. Chosen family is a powerful beast, and watching Jason Kauzlarich drop down to one knee as his soon-to-be-fiance turned around in surprise, with Phil Nobile Jr. and our partners all sharing in this incredible moment, reminds me daily of the overwhelming amount of love around us.

Birthday parties, for me, are an excuse to get as many people as I love in one space at the same time. It’s always overwhelming in the most devastatingly wonderful way, but this year was especially so. We went big this time, and on the morning of my birthday, I started crying on my way to breakfast. In that moment, I knew I had friends and family on airplanes and on the road, heading to LA to attend the party. I had local friends prepping and planning, taking on various duties like an army of party wizards.

The event was truly a group effort and the prom committee made my very specific dream prom come to life. I can’t think about the friends and family who showed up to celebrate with me without tearing up and getting all blubbery about it. None of you will ever know just quite how special you are to me, but lucky for me, I get to do my best to show you every day.

For this year’s Chainsaw Awards, I was entrusted to do so much more and the experience was unbelievable. So many of you were incredibly kind with your encouragement and compliments after the show, both online and in person, especially those of you I ran into at Texas Frightmare. I did a lot more hosting work and lots more on-camera work this year, some of which I’ll get to tell you much more about in 2024. Not a day goes by that I am not incredibly grateful for the work I get to do and the people it leads me to. I have met some of my best friends through my work, heroes have become friends, and it is so wonderful to get to celebrate the work of so many wildly talented folks.

But by far, my biggest moment of 2023 — Ookie lives! A ridiculous number of you came together and raised an absurd amount of money in a laughably ridiculous small amount of time. What felt like the impossible, you made possible. It may sound silly, but it does indeed feel like Ookie waited for me to get home from Texas Frightmare. The vets were baffled, but the miracle pup fought hard as hell. And now, thanks to you all, she’s thriving. At the time, I tried to explain it as a real-life version of George Bailey’s It’s A Wonderful Life finale, and that rings more true than ever. Your act of kindness will radiate through my life for the rest of my days. It was an act of love to last an eternity. Ookie is my miracle of the year, everything else I’ve been blessed to experience has felt like the biggest bonus.

I am grateful on a daily basis for the people I get to meet in the course of this journey. Grateful for the people who talk to me about their work. Grateful for the opportunity to celebrate wonderful creations and the creators who brought them into existence.

As I took my last morning walk of 2023 with Ookie to the coffee shop on the corner, she made several new friends, as she always does. And I just silently gave gratitude for her and for each of you and the love you’ve shared this year.

I hope your new year is filled with an abundance of love, celebration, and all the good things. Among loss and grief and madness, there are still causes for celebration. There are so many things we cannot control. But we can always choose to make the immediate environment around us a little kinder, a little warmer, a little more welcoming. As Phil so often reminds us, growing old is a privilege. Do with that what you will. See you on the other side, you beautiful creeps.

You guys sent way more Q’s than I expected! So here’s a slew of A’s for these Q’s and I’ll answer the rest in an upcoming Part II. Major thanks to everyone who has been along for this wonderfully horrific journey. My little black heart swells and you make this all so much fun. Grateful for each and every one of you creepy creeps.

Also available on Apple Podcasts

This is a love letter to you. Yes, you. If you have found these words then I am talking to you directly.

My heart aches for everyone touched by all manner of loss this year. I can’t say I feel celebratory. I know when the clock strikes midnight tonight it won’t undo any of this or magically propel us into the “all better”. But I can say I feel two things primarily- hope and gratitude. Grateful for all there is to be grateful for. And hopeful we are heading towards making things better.

Loss has touched us all in some way or another- loved ones, jobs, security. And for some, the loss may be in more invisible ways, but it’s still there. While I’ve realized in a lot of ways I may be built for hermit life, and sitting at home scribbling away and making things is in many ways a dream for me, there is a loss of balance. The ability to balance holed-up-at-home with things like sitting in a bar and losing track of time with a favorite person, absorbed in deep, sparkling conversation; the kind that feels effervescent and makes everything else fall away. Or having friends piled into my tiny apartment, sprawled across couch and makeshift sitting areas while we watch a horror movie and offer up our commentary, making each other laugh late into the night, filling every corner of the place with love long after they’ve left. In all honesty, at times… it has in fact been crushingly lonely. The thing that has kept me from getting lost at sea and drowning in that loneliness… is you.

So many have shown me such kindness this year. Strangers turned friends, cheerleaders, believers. Virtual watch parties served as a tether that brought me back and kept me from drifting away. Making things and conversations with you anchored and steadied me.

Whether we are already real life friends, whether we have yet to meet, or even if we have never interacted at all. Please know- for me, you are lifeboats. You are beacons of light. And I am more grateful for you than I’ll ever be able to express.

I’ve met many wonderful people this year. Thank you for making me laugh and filling me up with hope. I hope you are also filled with hope, for better things to come. Thanks for playing along/reading /watching/listening/interacting / supporting from afar. I hope in return I make something that offers you a bit of respite from reality.

Thanks for sticking around. I am always cheering you on.

Catch you in 2021 for some more spooky shit.

-Angel

Had a little quarantine fun with fiends… Pass The VHS Horror Edition. Like the pass the brush challenge, but ya know… spookier and nerdier. In the best possible ways.